How Are You Keeping?

March 26, 2020
March 26, 2020 nina

How Are You Keeping?

Hey, how are you guys? 

It was hard for me to write this email this morning because of the mixed emotions I am feeling. My thoughts are jumbled and I am sure that many of yours are too. 

Despite the world having stopped I have been busy as ever, speaking directly to my most immediate clients, taking on a new client, responding to queries, re-writing the May 2020 program so you can access it via dial-in and generally dealing with lots of emails. 

And it’s is making me think I don’t want to do this anymore.

Not that I don’t want to teach, or coach or help people heal. That is where I find a lot of joy.

It’s the busyness I’m referring to, the rushing and the always catching up.  

Nothing has changed for me. It’s making me realise I need to make the change.

There will be no, “do this first so you have free time later moment for me”. 

If I don’t change now, I will be busy until the day I die. 

When things break down, what has been ignored rushes in. When things are no longer specified with precision, the walls crumble, and chaos makes its presence known. When we’ve been careless, and let things slide, what we have refused to attend to gathers itself up, adopts a serpentine form, and strikes—often at the worst possible moment. JBP 

It seems to me for some this moment has come as a precious gift from the heavens above – the universe telling you to speak and play with your children, to love your partner, to find things to do together, to just be with each other. 

For others this is hell itself, their walls are crumbling, they are losing their livelihoods and angry and scared to the core. They’re fed up and angry and fearful all at the same time. 

Last week I was having huge panic over isolation and lock-down. I knew it was coming and I was really scared. I was scared for my family not taking proper precautions, of not realising the impact. I was scared for the economy, and for my business and livelihood. 

But I’ve been thinking that this could just be the most valuable time we have in our lives. 

This week I felt fleeting moments of preciousness – cutting that tomato very carefully and putting half of it back in the fridge, wrapping up and saving the extra bit of broccoli that might otherwise have gone in the bin. Slowing down. 

We can turn inside and search within for resourcefulness, beauty, the treasure in our souls. With no noise, no shops, bars, clubs or other distractions we can begin to grow in new and wonderful ways. 

We can face our demons as there is no distractions and nobody to blame. 

But at the same time as the most precious flower has time and space to grow, we also have chaos and panic, people trampling over each other, noisier than ever. They are still in the midst of their battle with fear and see no treasure or gifts in this moment yet. 

Of course my business will dry up. My income will suffer. I might have to move out if my beautiful home. I pray that my loved ones are safe. 

But inside of me and of all of us, there is a space that nobody can take away where there is kindness and generosity and care.

And when the walls crumble we realise that we didn’t really need them anyway. And we see that the fortifications around us that looked like the castle walls had become a prison and security (guard) was keeping us in, rather than the enemy out. “I just need another lock on the door” as one of my wealthiest clients used to say; as he gave his whole adult life to the bank he worked for.